God, Thee Perfect Father: Father Wounds

What makes a father “good”? Most people would consider their father to be good if he is/was present, a provider, and a protector. As we get older, we tend to dig even deeper and understand that a good father should also be nurturing, of good character, affectionate, supportive, and expresses his love towards his family.

 Some of us had a great example of a good father and others of us did not. We have heard the statistics of how growing up without a father can affect self-esteem, insecurities, behavioral problems, promiscuity, substance abuse, and so much more. Research shows that social problems correlate more with fatherlessness than any other factor including race, social class, and poverty. Some doctors even believe that the ‘father-deficit‘ should be treated as a public health issue. That’s just how important it is to have a father present.So, if that’s how important an earthly father is, how much more important is it to have a relationship with our Heavenly Father?

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me. Psalms 27:10

If your earthly father was absent or wasn’t the best father, it can be hard for you to see God as the perfect Father. But God tells us that he would never forsake us, never abandon us, nor will he leave us. He promises to watch over us and be with us wherever we go. He is the perfect Father that we long for.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

All our earthly fathers have fallen short at some point. When someone’s father isn’t present, was passive, or not  supportive, that person can feel let down, unloved, insecure, and unimportant. But God looks down on his children and confirms just the opposite. He tells us that we are loved, chosen, forgiven, accepted, and worthy. Whether we feel responsible for our fathers not being present or we are just dealing with the aftermath, we can rest assured that God calls us his. We belong to him! He is our Father and His spirit lives within us. You and me are a CHILD OF THE KING!

In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. Ephesians 1: 5-6

We can trust that our perfect father is fighting for us. He is excited to raise us up to follow in his footsteps and prepared to cheer us on through life’s ups and downs. He stands ready to guide us on the path to our God-given passions leading to purpose. Our Father wants to watch us soar beyond our wildest dreams! He wants to look over our lives and say to us the same which he said to Jesus; And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17

It is important for us to see God as Father because it helps encompass all that he is to us. As a father, we can better understand why he sometimes disciplines us, how he showers us with grace and mercy, and how he blesses us. He is a great defender when we find ourselves in trouble, a comforter when we are dealing with pain, a peacemaker during confusion, and so much more. In Louie Giglio’s book “Seeing God as a Perfect Father”, he talks about the emphasis we place on our family tree. But because of the work Jesus did on the cross, we have been given a new family tree. Jesus’s last words were:

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” ). Matthew 27:46

Jesus felt forsaken so that we would never again have to deal with being left out of a family tree. Because of his death at Calvary, we have direct access to our Heavenly Father and will never be forgotten or left out again! We have a new identity and a new family tree! When we accept Jesus into our hearts, we become sons and daughters of God.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Because of this new identity in our Heavenly Father, and through sanctification, we grow to take on his image. As we spend more time with Him, we begin to think like Him, talk like Him, love like Him, and treat others with acceptance, just as he did for us. Just as a child takes on the behaviors of their parents, the same is true with God and his children.

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 8:18

My earthly father was not present growing up and honestly it wasn’t until the last 3 years when I realized how my life was affected by that absence. I was blessed with a stepfather that does his very best to fulfill his role as a father in my life. Father wounds are real, and it is important that we address them, because just as with any wound, if left untreated, it simply causes more damage. The good news is that our Father in heaven is also a heart surgeon. He heals broken hearts, shows compassion in our sufferings, and offers his everlasting love to all who come to him. When we realize the love that God so graciously gives us, we are better able to reflect that love on others. We can give grace because grace was given to us. Most characteristics and traits come down the family tree, but sometimes we have to send grace up the tree.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18

We must soak in the truths of Jesus Christ found in scripture. We have to remember what he says about us and the promises God made his children. You move from feelings of an abandoned child to that of a loved child.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things Philippians 4:8

So just as Louie says, your heavenly Father is the perfect version of your earthly father!He is able, He is good, and He is in control! He knows you; He sees you, and He cares. You don’t have to work for His love and His intentions are always good.  You are the apple of His eye sis!

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