Navigating Loneliness: Making Jesus your Best Friend

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

(This blog post for some reason took me a longer time to finish than normal. I started and stopped more frequently than I normally do.) But any who…

Loneliness can look different for each of us, and it can be looked at from several different perspectives. It is important that we take note of our feelings of loneliness, because just as all our feelings, it can be an indication to something deeper. We should take note of when we feel lonely, what we do to cope with feeling lonely, and how often we experience loneliness. From this, we can better understand our emotions and take them to God in prayer.

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11

Post pandemic, there began a widespread mental health concern, thus leading to what they called the ‘epidemic of loneliness’. It’s actually pretty interesting that with so much interaction now through gatherings and social media exchange, that 1 out of 3 adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year according to a poll done by the American Psychiatric Association. The issue with social media is that although we can use it as a way to stay connected with friends and family, it can also lead to FOMO (or the fear of missing out).

Loneliness is not reserved for one group of people. It’s not only something experienced by singles. Married people can experience loneliness, kids, teens, billionaires, and celebrities. Although it can be triggered at certain stages of life like when you move to a new town, when you first get to college, or when you experience a breakup, it can also be experienced in other occasions.

Loneliness is defined by Psychology Today as “the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceived a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it.”

God created us for community, we know this from the very beginning. In Genesis 2:18, God explained that is not good for man to be alone. God wants us to be in fellowship with other believers. Matter-of-a-fact, His greatest commandment surrounds relationship.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22: 36-40

 When we surround ourselves with other believers it increases our faith. It reminds us that we are not on our faith journeys alone. This could look like getting involved in church community, bible studies, or even starting your own group.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25

But on the other hand, there are also times, when being alone is necessary. There are seasons we are called to isolation and God calls us to himself only. In these moments, God wants us to focus on our relationship with him. He wants to cultivate intimacy with us and become our best friend. We get a chance to meet with God without the distractions. Typically, we have many different things fighting for our attention, but when find ourselves in a desert place, we are able to spend time with the one person who can quench our thirst for true relationship. When we feel lonely, we normally run to others for connection, we don’t want to sit in the feelings of loneliness. It’s awkward. It makes us actually deal with true ourselves. But we can be alone physically without feeling lonely. The most important relationship we are told to focus on is the one we have with Jesus. God craves our companionship. When we nurture our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we begin to realize that everything we feel like we are lacking, can be found in Him.  

When you pray, go into a room alone and close the door. Pray to your Father in private. He knows what is done in private and will reward you. Matthew 6:6

Every season of our lives must be stewarded well and we must be careful not to be so focused on the next, that we miss out on what is happening in the moment. God wants to use every season for His glory and for our good. Pay attention to what God is showing you in your quiet time. We can’t hear his voice when we have a million other voices in our ear.

Being a Christian in this world, can easily lead to feeling alone sometimes. When you are called to a different way of living than others around you, you can feel overwhelmed and isolated. For me, loneliness was hard to recognize. I am an introverted person naturally, so I enjoy my alone time; it recharges me. But there are times that I can distinguish loneliness.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16

When Jesus went alone to be with the Father, he received everything he needed to do the Father’s work. He too, felt loneliness, when he left the Father, to be incarnated to endure living in a world of sin where no one could fully identify with him. So He can understand and sympathizes with our loneliness.

So next time, instead of trying to feel the void with distractions, ask the Lord if this is the season that he is calling you to himself. Or if is it time for you to find good community. We can be open and honest about our feelings; He wants to know.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:9-11

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